Friday, December 28, 2012

2 weeks to go

To say I'm nervous is an understatement. I've been a little OCD about everything.
I've decided that next year I want to go Steampunk.
I've also been making things:

A cape to wear after my surgery so it's easy to get on and off


Tablet cases, cause I can never have enough

Jewelry, because who doesn't need another hobby:

And bags, always bags:

Friday, December 14, 2012

Do guns = safety?

The internet is abuzz with news this morning of a shooting at a school in Connecticut.
As a mom with a child in school this is hard to read about. My heart goes out to everyone involved.

Then my feed started to show a new trend.  The "This is why I have a gun" trend.  Now I'm not anti-gun, I'm also not gung-ho pro-gun. I realize I live in the south and just about everyone has one (we will too when we have space for a gun cabinet to keep it safely locked up).

But do guns = safety? Or are they giving people a false sense of security?
Guns can be great for protection, hunting or even for sport. However even with a concealed carry permit there are places you can't take guns. You can't always have it with you.  And...sadly you can never tell how batshit crazy someone is.

One of the biggest things that scares me as a parent is thinking "what if my son had that mentality?" Can you imagine how a child would interpret "gun = safety" growing up? 

Having a gun doesn't suddenly mean you are "safe".  Often being too cocky about guns can lead to quite the opposite. Personally I would worry that someone with that mentality would pull a gun in a situation that didn't warrant it. Or that they would pull a gun and hurt someone else.

Be realistic about it. Know how to shoot the weapon and keep practicing. Just realize you can't take it everywhere (at least not legally) and thinking it automatically makes you safe is a fallacy.  I have found in my years of knowing gun owners that the most effective ones are the ones who don't announce it to the world.  They don't go around saying "I have a gun, I can protect myself." And if you think of it it's like the drunk guy in the bar yelling "I'm good at sex."  which usually indicates he doesn't know what the hell he is doing.

Having a gun can help keep you safe.  But it doesn't ensure your safety.
It's not that I'm freaked out by people having guns.  I'm concerned about the ones who think that having a gun means they are safe from these things.


Saturday, December 1, 2012

Coming to terms with my femininity



I've never considered myself a girly girl.  I like pretty things and fashion as much as the next girl but I've always identified a bit more as a tomboy. Possibly because my lack of fear in some situations or because I don't mind getting my hands dirty.
With my Bi-lateral Mastectomy coming up in just over a month I've found myself suddenly much more interested in make-up and jewelry. I've even taken to wearing hats which I rarely do, not because I don't look good in them (I can rock hats) but more because I never took the time.  I couldn't figure out why I suddenly had to be wearing lipstick every day, wearing jewelry, changing bracelets when before I was fine being minimal.
It hit me earlier this month when I cut my hair. I love the way it looks with side swept bangs but it was shorter than it has been in a while and I had a moment of terror. "Will I look like a boy when I don't have my breasts?"  That was it, that was why I was suddenly so interested in all these other aspects of my femininity. I always like to be put together but it seems to have become more of an obsession lately.  
Then I realized...the smallest I ever remember my breast being was a C cup, puberty hit me hard, I'm an I cup now. I have ALWAYS identified my femininity with my breasts. My breasts will keep me from looking boyish.  My breasts fill out this shirt/dress. My breasts were what I felt "defined" me without a doubt as a woman.  No matter how grungy I looked there wouldn't be a doubt about my gender because I had my breasts.
And now I am cutting them from my body. They have become (in a sense) the enemy.
As a side note I realize how lucky I am that I get to make this choice instead of being told I have cancer and having the choice made for me. 
My brain is trying to protect me, trying to teach me that my femininity is NOT defined by my breasts.  I can do other things to make myself feel feminine.  It's difficult and I'm scared about how next year is going to pan out and how I'm going to feel about my changing body.  I am learning how to feel feminine while disregarding my breasts. I hope coming to terms with this now will be helpful in my recovery.



I am getting reconstruction.  Please understand that this blog entry is how I feel about my body and situation and may not be how everyone feels.

Tuesday, November 13, 2012

Further than I've gone before

My preventative bilateral mastectomy now has an official date. January 11, 2013. Less than 2 months away...
I honestly thought I'd feel better once I had a surgery date set. The last 2 times I tried to plan things happened and we never got this far (Ben getting laid off both times).  I have a date set, I know this is going to happen, but I don't feel any better. No sense of relief.

I'm at a bit of a loss for words (stop laughing). I'm going between depressed and numb. I don't know why I expected to feel like a giant weight was lifted off my shoulders but it isn't.
Now...I think about stupid things like the hair cut I just got. It's shorter than I normally go and really edgy. I like it but I'm suddenly struck with a fear that I'm going to look like a man after my surgery.
Then there is my weight.  With Insulin Resistance it's always been a battle with my weight. Am I going to really hate how I look?

I know this is all normal pre-surgery stuff.  Doesn't make it any easier.

Friday, October 26, 2012

FORCE Memphis Scentsy Fundraiser

With the holidays coming up FORCE Memphis decided to join with a local Scentsy consultant to do a fundraiser.
So many people love Scentsy products as gifts around the holidays.  Now your purchase can go to an amazing cause.
Check out our fundraiser here:
https://catherinewiggins.scentsy.us/Scentsy/Buy?partyId=113601819
25% of the proceeds go to FORCE.
and don't forget to share with your friends.

Wednesday, October 24, 2012

A nifty icon addition for a good cause

Many people have noticed the pink and teal ribbon on my icons on Blogger, Facebook and Twitter.  You all know I'm a Coordinator for FORCE Memphis. So I figured I'd offer to add these adorable little pink and teal ribbons to you a small donation to FORCE.

For just $1 you can send me a picture and I'll add a ribbon to it.  You can donate through our FirstGiving page. Or email irener@facingourrisk.org for my Paypal email.

Monday, October 22, 2012

An Amazing FORCE Conference in Orlando

This past weekend Michelle and I were lucky enough to attend the 7th Annual FORCE Conference in Orlando, FL. I received a full scholarship to attend this weekend full of information, empowerment and bonding.

As a coordinator this experience has been invaluable to me. I gained so much knowledge that will not only help me but help my community as well.  I'm excited about the connections and friends I've made. I've come home with some great ideas on how to reach out to my local community.



FORCE is excited to announce our partnership with the Basser Cancer Center for BRCA at the Abramson Cancer Center of the University of Pennsylvania. 

If you are interested in donating to FORCE you can check out our online donations page or take a peak at our CafePress shop.

Wednesday, October 17, 2012

Turn about is fair play?

I was thinking about all the talk about abortions that come up during an election year.

And I wondered...what if a law was passed saying women had to get pregnant. That it was wrong for them not to be trying to get pregnant. It's the duty of the wife to produce children and we all know how "spilling seed" is wrong.  It doesn't matter if you want children or not, it doesn't matter if the child is a product of rape or incest as long as you are having babies.  Who cares if you can't afford it, the law tells you what you can and can't do with your vagina. It doesn't matter if is a medical danger to you (or even to the child), you must keep having babies.

It's the law right?  Because someone else has the right to tell me what I can do with my reproductive organs?
Are you so naive to think that the laws would end there? What happens when they tell breast cancer patients they can't have mastectomies?
Once you let other people can make these decisions for you they'll make more. Ones you won't be happy about.  What if they made a one child law? People would have a fit. It's the same thing.


Regardless of where you stand on abortion the question is about the rights of women. Rights we've fought so hard for. You don't like abortions, don't support them. But I don't tell you what to do with your vagina, you have no right to tell me what to do with mine.

Thursday, October 11, 2012

Our local interview is up!

 Michelle and I were interviewed for a piece on our local FORCE group. 

http://www.memphisdailynews.com/news/2012/oct/10/force-brings-cancer-previvors-together/

Thursday, October 4, 2012

What do you mean "mid-fall break"?

I've been informed that next week is mid-fall break at my son's school.  Garrett has been doing so well in his special needs program.  He comes home with new words each day. He happily gets on the bus each morning and every afternoon when I pick him up he gives me a big hug.

I'm just not ready for him to be on break. And I don't think he's going to be too happy about it. He likes going to school, he looks forward to it.  All weekend he'll grab his backpack and say "I go, I go".   Admittedly I'm going to miss the mornings to myself to get crafting done. The pets are going to miss the chilling out time.
They're going to miss this for a week

I remind myself that I am lucky he likes school and wants to go. We're also lucky that he's IN school and we have a wonderful program that is helping him make strides every day.

Saturday, September 29, 2012

FORCE Memphis has a CafePress store

Our CafePress store is up.   http://www.cafepress.com/forcememphis All proceeds go to FORCE and helping us meet our fundraising goals.
Plus you get a nifty item that helps promote FORCE.



Make Custom Gifts at CafePress

Friday, September 28, 2012

Wrap it up!

I decided it would be fun to make a small  wreath for our door this year. I found a small foam wreath at Target. For just a dollar you can't beat the price.
I've gotten the first part done and wrapped it with green yarn.

Thursday, September 27, 2012

Only on Facebook is Breast Cancer Awareness a secret.

Most of my friends know well enough that I'm a big advocate for Breast Cancer awareness.  My friend Michelle and I found the Memphis FORCE group.
Awareness:the state or ability to perceive, to feel, or to be conscious of events, objects, or sensory patterns. So you have to understand my frustration when I wake up to this in my Facebook messages:
"Hi Beautiful Lady...Without replying to this message, put a heart on
your wall; no comment,
just a heart. Next, post a heart on the wall of the person
who sent you this message. Then send this message to your

women friends, only women. If anyone asks you why you have so
many hearts on your wall, don't tell them. This is only for women,
because this is breast cancer research week. One small act of
solidarity between women. PS to type a heart, first type < then 3.
It will turn into a heart as soon as you post it."
Ugh.  Just Ugh.  Sometimes there aren't so many words that describe the stupidity of this.  So here we go with a little list.
1: Are people still do daft as to think that men can't get Breast Cancer?  
2: How does this raise awareness or help research if you're NOT supposed to tell anyone.  Because the opposite of awareness is ignorance.
3: Even if men are less likely to get Breast Cancer they are still part of our support system. They are fathers, husbands, brothers, uncles, cousins, friends. Men donate to research as well. 
4: Women who have had Breast Cancer or are predisposed to it (like myself) don't find this solidarity.  We find this insulting and lazy because you can't be bothered to do more than post a heart. It isn't a secret to us. It shouldn't be to you.
5: I still can't wrap my hands around how this is solidarity and how this helps anyone. 
so...
If you see a heart on Facebook I encourage you to do what I plan to do and post " BREAST CANCER AWARENESS IS NOT A SECRET"
And, if you are looking to do something that makes a difference consider making a small donation to the Memphis FORCE group.  But please, don't post a heart thinking you are showing any solidarity.

Sunday, September 16, 2012

You're having a mastectomy for attention!

Yes, that sentence has been said to me several times. The worst part is that it has been said by close family members.
We talk about how important the support of our friends an family can be. But what about when we don't get the support from the people we feel we need it from most.

This is where I am right now. Wednesday I see my plastic surgeon. I'm hoping to be able to finally set a date for my surgery. The truth is...I'm scared. I'm not going to change my mind, but I'm scared. 
It makes me miss my father. He would have told me scientifically why having my bilateral mastectomy made sense. But other than my mom my family doesn't talk about this.

When Ben and I first got married they found an enlarged lymph node. They thought I had Lymphoma and I had surgery (it turned out to be nothing).  My brother never called to see how I was. We've always had a strained relationship, but 3.5 years ago my brother cut me off completely from his life. I'll probably never get to know my niece and nephew and Garrett will never know his cousins.  I've never publicly spoken about this but with my surgery getting so close it's been on my mind. 
The worst part for me right now is thinking that my brother wouldn't care if I died.  I'm hurting. I need the support of my family but so many of them have made it clear that they think my surgery is a ploy for attention. I just need my big brother right now.

Maybe I just don't want to feel so alone.  The saddest part is that I know this won't be met with the support I need, but rather anger for putting my words out there.
I'm just scared.

Wednesday, September 5, 2012

Thursday, August 30, 2012

My new motto

This will be hanging above my fabric stash


mama cloth with cotton velour topper

loving how this custom mama cloth looks with the eggplant cotton. velour topper.

Thursday, August 16, 2012

Liebster Blog Award

While I wasn't looking I was given a blog award.  I was a little surprised because I know life has taken over and my blog has taken a back seat. 
I was given the Liebster Blog Award.
Andrea over at The Simple Craft Diaries awarded me. I don't know Andrea so this was a really big surprise to me.  The Liebster Blog award is given to up and coming bloggers with less than 200 followers, nominated by fellow bloggers. 

Honestly I don't have time to give the award to 11 bloggers.  I'm not even sure where I'm finding the time to do this while a toddler climbs on me. 
But I will award 1 to Liz over at Toronto Nanny. She's an amazing writer and I hope to see more from her in the future.

I'm also supposed to post 11 random facts about me.  So here goes:

1: I really really need to go to the bathroom right now but I wanted to write this post.
2: I spend more time than I should shopping the remnant bin at fabric stores.
3: The only time I miss having my period is when I make mama cloth for other people. They're so cute I wish I could wear them (but not enough to get my Mirena removed)
4: I originally started this blog to talk about my infertility. Since then it's moved to mostly crafting with discussions of my breast/ovarian cancer risks as well as my son's autism.
5: I'm a little sad sometimes that my son isn't a redhead.
6: I'm 5 feet tall.
7: I can't crochet.  I can do a basic chain but just haven't felt there is a reason to pick it up with everything else I do.
8: I've been married for 8 years. Many people thought we'd never last 6 months.
9: I had my son when I was 30
10: Garrett is sitting next to me singing me twinkle twinkle little star. 
11: I actually like living in the south. I miss things about NY and Boston but I don't think I'd go back.


And I'm done...now can I go to the bathroom?

Sunday, August 12, 2012

Monday, August 6, 2012

Our newest addition

I've completely forgotten to post about our new addition.
10 days ago we welcomed a cat in to our home.  Her name is Maisy and she's a Siamese/Tabby mix.
Garrett loves her and she is content to let him snuggle her.

She's a great addition to our little nuthouse.

Monday, July 30, 2012

Make your own baker's twine

I remember going to the baker's as a child and watching them wrap the boxes in that red and white twine. Now there are so many different colors you can buy. But why buy when you can make?

I stumbled upon (literally) this great tutorial for making your own baker's twine. I already have a ton of Sharpies on hand so I went to Walmart to get a ruler (25 cents) and the crochet thread ($2.28).
If you get the thread at Michael's or Joann's using a coupon you could probably pay even less. I had masking tape but you could use almost any tape if you aren't planning to use the ruler for anything else.

I had the little cardboard winders on hand already. They are perfect for keeping the twine from getting tangled.

I can't wait to tie up Garrett's birthday gifts. It's so colorful and fun. You could even make multicolor twine.

Sunday, July 22, 2012

Fun with Washi Tape

I can't help it. I've gotten caught up in the washi tape craze.  One look at pinterest and you can see all the cool things you can do with it.
I was bored the other night and decided to decorate the back of my tablet.  I want to redo it when I have some more time. But not bad for a first time.

Monday, July 16, 2012

The Luggage Project

For many years Ben has kept his magic cards in this old fashioned train case. He sold his cards but I wouldn't let him get rid of the case. 
It's a Relco brand, Joyce Lane style case from the 40s-50s. But it's in bad shape.
It's going to need a total overhaul. I don't have time to do it all at once so it will happen bit by bit (hopefully with updates).
Here's what I need to do:
Replace the mirror.
Reline the interior
Make a new snap on zipper pouch
Make new elastic strap
Paint and stencil the outside
replace the handle

Thursday, July 12, 2012

Tea towels turned bread bags

I don't really have a ton of cute tea towels. For me they were functional for drying dishes. Now we've started baking our own crusty bread (really simple and delicious recipe) I need bread bags.
Plastic bags don't breathe and keep moisture in. Paper bags get tossed out. But linen, linen makes perfect bread bags.

So I gathered some of my tea towels and made simple drawstring bread bags.  I've saved so much cord and ribbon that I used what I had in my stash as drawstrings.

Step 1: Seam up the sides.  I used my serger for this. You can use a regular machine and sew up the sides or do french seams.
I really love my serger

Step 2: Fold the top down to make a casing for your drawstring.  Since the top of the towel already has a finished edge you don't need to have it doubled under.

Step 3: Insert string.

Step 4: Put the bread in the bag. Try not to eat it.

You may notice there is no bread in this bag. That's because we need to make more. These bags are so easy to make and great for gift giving instead of wrapping paper.

Tuesday, July 3, 2012

Business card holder

My amazing friend Laura made me this Sculptey creation today.
I love it and I'm excited to show it off.



And we're back

we arrived home early Sunday morning from our trip.
2705 miles driven.
I was going to do a post about how to keep children occupied or what to expect but Garrett was amazing.

Summertime is busy but Garrett is doing so well there will be an update post on him soon.

Tuesday, June 19, 2012

Friday, June 8, 2012

The winner of the name my serger contest/giveaway

The winner is:






Selena with "Sergio"
I have to admit that once she posted that name it was the one that stuck in my head.  I tried out all the names but I found myself calling him "Sergio" when I wasn't thinking. 

Thanks to every one who participated. I had a lot of fun picking out names.

Tuesday, June 5, 2012

Mini Pincushions

mini pincushions by teawithfrodo
mini pincushions, a photo by teawithfrodo on Flickr.
Love making mini pincushions. So simple and adorable. great way to reuse all those plastic bottle caps.

Wednesday, May 30, 2012

Unpaper Towels

Everyone knows I love my cloth diapers.  We use cloth wipes, cloth napkins and cloth cleaning wipes. But what the hell is an unpaper towel?
We go through more paper towels than I'd like to admit and I wanted to find a better option. I found a simple tutorial and got working.
I chose to go with a darker terry so stains wouldn't show up easily. I also managed to get flannel on clearance at Joann's for $1.50 a yard. I also used my serger to sew them together instead of stitching, turning and top stitching.
Having them snapped on the roll is really convenient since I have limited counter space.
Now I just see the commercials for paper towels and laugh.  Even Ben thinks they are great and loves using them.  He can wipe down the counter and then leave the towel for wiping up again later.

I'm trying to get enough "growl towels" to make myself a dozen Memphis Grizzlies towels.


Don't forget to enter the Name My Serger Contest/Giveaway


Wednesday, May 16, 2012

Name my serger contest/giveaway

My new serger is in, but it doesn't have a name.  You know me, it needs a name.
I had been planning to do some sort of giveaway when I reached 100 followers. Since I reached that milestone while we were in the middle of moving it got pushed back.


So I'm having a contest. Name my serger! 
Name me!!!
This is a Singer Stylist Serger.  I'm open to the strange and unusual names. In case you were wondering here are the names of my other 2 machines:
I have a Singer Stylist Sewing machine named Zoe (Zoh).  Because the first stylist to come to mind was Rachel Zoe.
My sewing/embroidery machine is a Brother machine from the Project Runway line. He's names Mondo, because Mondo was cheated out of a win.

The rules for this contests are really simple:
1: You can enter as many times as you want.  You can have multiple entries in 1 comment.  I'm choosing the winner by the name I like best so feel free to comment with any names you think of.
2: You need to be following me. Twitter, Facebook, Blogger, Network Blogs, etc...just let me know how you are following me when you comment.
3: If you don't have an email attached to your name when you comment please include one so I can contact you if you are the winner.


The winner gets to choose their hand made prize (within reason).
Want a lunch bag?
How about a tablet cover?
Even homemade baby legs

This contest will be open until Thursday June 7th (which also happens to be my birthday).

Monday, May 14, 2012

Let's give 'em something to chalk about

I've always wanted to do a chalk wall.  Just one problem...we're in an apartment right now.  While I could paint the wall and then paint it back before we move I figure that is just too much work if it isn't going to be permanent.
I leave myself a ton of notes and love the dry erase board we have in the kitchen. But I needed something in my craft room for projects.  I told Ben I wanted to go to Tuesday Morning to look around. If you haven't been to a Tuesday Morning you should check it out. (No, I am not getting any compensation from them, I think it's a great store with some amazing deals)

I came across stick up chalk boards.
Great price
I couldn't decide between the cup and saucer or the teapot. So I got both.
It fits perfectly on the wall
Now I can write my projects on the chalk boards instead of on papers I keep throwing out.  And I promised that shelf is on straight.  I was just at a strange angle getting the shot.

Thursday, May 10, 2012

My first NBA game

Last night my awesome friend Michelle of The World According to Michelle (as well as my FORCE Memphis Co-coordinator) treated me to an NBA game.
Not only have I never been to an NBA game but I got to go to a playoff game between the Memphis Grizzles and the LA Clippers.
The atmosphere was great, I had a ton of fun and the Grizzlies won!  I didn't care that we were up in the "nose bleed" section. I was too busy having fun.  All the fans were cheering and everyone put on their free shirt over their regular shirts to cheer for their team. You can see the sea of white shirts.
My voice is half gone but I had so much fun, I can't wait to go again.

Friday, May 4, 2012

I'm bouncing around the apartment and squealing.  I've been lusting after a serger for some time now. It would be great to have with all the clothing I'm making for myself and others.
I know Ben had been setting money aside to get me one, but my mother is visiting and decided to cover the rest of the cost. 

It should be here in a week and I was so excited I started crying.  Now to buy some thread cones.

Thursday, April 26, 2012

Lovely lunch bag

oh how I love instagram!
Today Garrett started at Transformations. I'm excited about him getting extra therapy and I think it's a great transition to him starting school this fall. He'll be going twice a week for 4 hours each time, which means he'll be eating lunch there. I loved packing him a lunch today but hated using a brown paper bag.

You know me...that didn't last long. Once I knew he would be going I ordered some Insul-Fleece because I had found a simple lunch bag tutorial. However I hate buying laminated cotton.  It's really expensive and you can just make your own with iron on vinyl.
Now before anyone says anything about food safe I did check on this. It is food safe, they just recommend not using it for anything your child will chew on. 

So I laminated a couple pieces of fabric I got on clearance at Walmart. I really love making my own laminated cotton because I can choose any pattern I want without paying $20 a yard.



I have a snap press but you can always use velcro.  For the next bag I'll make sure I change out my thread and use something matching.  It's bigger than a plastic bag and I know it will keep things cool while we go from home to his classes (it gets hot here in the Mid-South).

And yes, I know the ships are upside down, they are right side up on the other side. The fabric was too cute to pass up and I did this one quickly so I had it for Friday.

Monday, April 2, 2012

Tennessee is adding an Autism license plate

When we moved to Memphis about 6 months ago I was disappointed that there was no Autism support license plate.
Well now there is.  You can bet we preordered ours.  The kicker is that they need 1000 orders before they'll mint the plate.
Please take the time to read the story:
http://teachingtheboy.blogspot.com/2012/04/giving-getting-back-tns-new-autism.html

Nightstand face lift

We don't have much bedroom furniture but we do have matching nightstands we got at Target several years ago.  They've served us well but I hate the dark color in the bedroom right now.

I found some remnant home decor fabric last year that was really cute. I had no idea what to do with it though.  A few months later I found the same fabric in another color...now I have it in pink and in blue.  I decided to do a his and hers nightstand makeover.

I've been planning to fix them up for a while and thought the blue and pink would be a fun touch.
This project doesn't require much and is great for a beginner.

Supplies:
Furniture to be painted
Paint (I love using a spray for this)
Fabric (I prefer home decor weight)
Adhesive (Mod Podge, spray adhesive, glue, whatever you prefer)
Q-tips (only if you are painting the drawers)
Sand paper
X-acto knife

There was certainly a bit of water damage on these

Take the drawers out, knobs off and sand paper any rough spots or edges. Any bumps are going to show when it is painted.

If you are painting the drawers:
Stick Q-tips in the knob holes and the ends of the knobs (if you are painting them). This will prevent paint from closing the holes up.  Since my fabric has some white and I didn't want the dark wood to show through I painted the drawer front. 
We did a couple coats to completely cover the dark wood

Spray paint your pieces.  I also spray painted the knobs so we didn't have to buy new ones.
Let the paint dry.

You can add the fabric to the drawers while the paint is still a little tacky.  Cut the fabric a little larger than the drawers. Apply your adhesive, I chose to apply it to my drawer and then put the fabric on.  You can cut off the extra fabric or fold it around the edges.  I chose to cut the fabric off and make sure it had plenty of adhesive so it wouldn't peel away.

Once everything is dry, poke through the knob hole and make a small hole in the fabric.
Put the knobs back on and the drawers back in.

It's an easy weekend project that adds some personality to your furniture.
I love our his and hers nightstands. They really brighten up the room.

Monday, March 26, 2012

Bye bye Beaker

My laptop hard drive died this weekend in a spectacular blue screen of death.  Maybe that's what I get for naming it Beaker.
I spent most of the weekend crafting while Ben recovered as much as he could.  (Nightstand facelift tutorial coming soon) I still lost my Firefox bookmarks.  While recently I had been using Pinterest more often I still had a ton of bookmarks. We're trying to recover those as well.

There will be some crafty posts in the future, especially since shirred tops have become my new addiction.

Wednesday, March 21, 2012

When support groups aren't so supportive.

I used to belong to an online support group for parents who had children on the Autism Spectrum.  Yesterday a post came up that ended with the line "My son with autism is way cooler than any boring typical any day."
I was a little surprised to see that, especially because as parents of special needs children we don't want others saying things like that to our children.
So I commented to her and said that we should be mindful of saying things like that because if you replaced autism and typical with other words (like normal and retarded) people would be upset.
I was told it was a joke. Again I  responded that I didn't think it was funny and we were only doing to others what we hate them doing to us.

The admin decided I was being nasty, hateful and unsupportive. She actually said that to me before she deleted the thread. I never called anyone any names, no one acknowledged my point. But I got called some nasty things.
A post was soon put up with "rules" for the support community which included no "arguing" (because sadly we have a generation of adults that can't functionally disagree) no bad-mouthing and so on.  The golden rule was mentioned (do unto others...)

Someone commented about how they've seen people bash teachers and schools, why was that ok?  (I swear, not me).  I commented saying that there wasn't any drama, I didn't say anything rude to anyone and my point was exactly a "Do Unto Others" thing.

Then...I got called some names. The admin threatened to delete the group. Deleted the post and removed and blocked me.  So here I sit...now I can't even go to the physical meetings because I won't know when they are scheduled.  I opened my mouth to say "Don't talk that way about others when you don't want them talking about you that way" and was told I was unsupportive.  I'm really not one for double standards so considering what was said I felt the admin was being incredibly hypocritical.

The reason I'm really upset is because I feel that both Ben and Garrett have also been cut off from the support that other members of that group could have provided.

When did support become enabling?  Does a support group mean you can't disagree or even say "What you said it hurtful to others?"  Saying something like that certainly isn't taking a jab at the person posting it (while the person who posted that took a jab at "typical" children)

So I sit here confused. This support group has gone and done the most unsupportive thing in the name of helping others.

That still doesn't make that statement right.  No matter who says it. 

I should add that I loved this group. It was a wonderful resource and I am in no way bashing the group itself which has been a great resource for so many people.


Sunday, March 11, 2012

teawithfrodo's photostream

Homemade BabylegsTop and diaperTop and diaper2owlshortsBlue flannelblue flannel2
Flannel12-18 month topNeck wrap 3Neck wrap 2Neck wrap 1snaps closed
snaps closed topsnaps opencloth1Pouch

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