Friday, November 28, 2008

today's shot went a bit better. I was able to get the plunger down on my own. This one stung a bit more though.

We went to the Celestial Seasonings factory. We have lots of tea, and I even have a SleepyTime bear now. It's snowing now. Tomorrow we are going to the Coors Brewery.

Monday I have my next that point I'll find out the next set of shots I need to take.

I completely forgot that this set of shots was supposed to give me my period and woke up bleeding and freaking out. we called the doctor and they got back to use quickly even though it was a holiday weekend.

it begins

last night was my first shot. I cried before doing it. It didn't really hurt, but I couldn't push the plunger down and Ben had to help me. Took a while for the spot to stop bleeding.

I forgot that it was supposed to give me a quick period to clean everything out and freaked out last night when I started bleeding. Especially since we are visiting my brother and sister in law in Denver right now. The doctor called us back though to let us know.

I'm ok...really sore...I haven't had a period in about 2 years...and everything needed to clean out before we start.

Today we are going to the Celestial Seasonings factory...that should be lots of fun.

Monday, November 24, 2008

Sunday, November 23, 2008

The weekend review

cut my finger up...
got the new couch

found a kitten this morning. Her eyes were crusted over with puss. We force fed her some cat milk and cleaned her eyes as best we could.

I then drove her to the ASPCA while Ben waited for the couch delivery. She crawled into my lap while I was driving. I hated giving her up, she was so sweet.

She looks bigger in this picture, but was about 6 inches in front of me. You also can't see how bad her eyes were. Hopefully she'll get some antibiotics and someone will adopt her.

I'll spare everyone the pictures of my finger. It's still a mess and we are watching to make sure that it doesn't get infected.

we also put off taking new etsy pictures until my finger is healed and doesn't look a mess...since I don't think that would really help the pictures. So maybe in a couple weeks...while I want to get it done there are just more things we need to worry about.

Saturday, November 22, 2008

the replacement couch is being delivered tomorrow...

and while peeling apples to make apple preserves I missed and peeled my finger...I got the bleeding to stop on the way to the we put a butterfly bandage and some gauze on it. My finger looks a mess...and knitting will be difficult. but the bleeding stopped.

Thursday, November 20, 2008


the couch broke...
it's under warantee but IKEA is being a whore about it.

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

busy weekend

I'll be taking some new photos for my etsy listings.
Luckily this weekend Ben will help me and we'll both freeze while taking pictures in the back yard. I hope that helps sales a little.

I could use the pick me up.
At least next week we're going to Denver. I'm hoping to get lots of knitting done at the airport and on the plane.

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

I have the BRCA 2 mutation
84% risk of breast cancer
27% risk of ovarian cancer

I will be getting a bi-lateral mastectomy in the semi-near future

Monday, November 17, 2008


I get my BRCA genetic test results tomorrow at 9:30am...
I'm a mess and crying now...


took a break from knitting gloves to knit a hat.
I have 2 more pair of fingerless gloves to knit. I'm hoping to finish those before I go away, so I can take the shawl I'm working on with me to Denver.
I have so many other patterns I want to make...

I'm also planning on retaking a bunch of my etsy pictures...most likely using the dog house in the yard as a backdrop.

Thursday, November 13, 2008

5 gloves down

5 to go

So here is a picture.

You can also see the necklace Ben bought me. Hopefully it will bring us good fortune.

knitting away

should have pair 3 out of 5 done by tomorrow for the fingerless gloves.
I finished another pair someone on etsy requested.

After that I have 2 pairs of convertible mittens...and then another possible commission after that. I'm glad to be bringing in the money.

Last night on chat someone came into a room and tried to get me to say something bad about the persons who previously decided to stop talking to me.
I didn't say anything bad, but I know that they'll say something else.
*shrugs* Oh well...I think it just proves that it really isn't worth it. I had left them the ability to talk to me, not send someone in to try and get me to say shit.

PT is going well...I had a migraine Saturday, but haven't had one since then. I'm also looking into acupuncture to help with fertility.

As tired as I am these days I'm not letting things stop me and I'm still moving forward. And I'm going to take a moment and be proud of myself.

Wednesday, November 12, 2008


I just went to take a bath...
and found a visitor in the tub.

He must have come up through the drain because there was no other way to get in, and there was poop all over the tub.

I'm really surprised the cat was only watching him.
He's tiny...and I've named him "Draino"
when Ben comes home we'll decide if we want to get him a little cage or not.

we decided not to keep him


My brother sent me this email and I had to share.

A child was given a homework assignment to draw a picture of what one of their parents did for a living. This girl's mom works at Home Depot.
She is supposed to be selling a shovel in the picture.


Tuesday, November 11, 2008

Sometimes you get those pleasant surprises

Ben and I were in the super market when my cell phone rang. I didn't answer it, but when I got back in the car I listened to my messages.

I have a friend...we've known each other our whole lives and we recently got back in touch. She's been through IVF...
she was looking in my etsy shop and found my blog. She called because she knew I was going through a lot and wanted to be there to support me.

I called her back. She told me she'd hold my hand through all of this and that I can call anytime. We spent a while on the phone. I'm still in tears because I'm so happy to have someone to really talk to about this.

This was just what I needed feel like there was someone there who understood. Someone who won't run away when things get tough. I'm not alone. And that is good to know.

needles galore

Today I received 3 huge boxes. They are all my hormone meds. I'm happy that they got here, but opening these boxes and seeing about 70 syringes and needles was rough. I started to cry.

So I put the meds away (some have to be refrigerated) and called the hubby, then called mom.

Mom asked if I'm going to be able to give myself shots...
my reply "I don't really have a choice"

I guess that's just the way I operate. I forget sometimes how much stronger I am then most people, and even in tough times I always push forward.

Monday, November 10, 2008

silly me

it always hurts when people you thought were there aren't.

Even worse when they completely ignore you. No inkling of why they are "I just need some time"

just completely ignored.
I guess I still have trouble wrapping my head around that. Then again my studies were in communications, not lack there of.

I'm going to curl up in a ball now.
And remind myself why it was stupid to open myself up to new people.

Friday, November 7, 2008

doctor says "uterus is perfect"
which is good news.
still sore from the hydro ultrasound.

I purchased myself a good luck shiny today...
but man I'm still sore.

Thursday, November 6, 2008

webcam programs

who can recommend a good webcam program?
I have a webcam on my dell...but need something for chat.

I guess I should look for people to chat with first.

here there be dragons

Adopt one today!

Adopt one today!

Adopt one today!

these babies should hatch in about 7 days
Click on them to help them hatch.

Wednesday, November 5, 2008


I went to the genetic counselor today.
My test results should be back in 2-3 weeks.
I'm pretty sure that I have it. I'd rather know and be able to prevent things...

so...should I have the mutation then I will most likely have a hysterectomy and a bi-lateral mastectomy...

lets hope IVF works and I can have a child and let me girly bits serve their purpose first.

I appreciate the support I've been getting from everyone in this emotionally rough time.
hat is finished and going out into the mail today...
working on some fingerless gloves for someone on etsy, then I need to get back to some of my other commissions.

wow...just wow...I stayed up until about 1am lat night crying tears of joy and being amazed. History was made...history I never thought I would see this early in my lifetime.

today I also go to the genetic counselor and get tested for the BRCA gene...the results take about 3 weeks.
23 days until I start the IVF cycle...

Monday, November 3, 2008

adsense IS a scam

so I woke up this morning to an email from adsense saying that I was a danger to their advertisers.
Hrm...interesting as how I like many others who were canceled were due to be paid.

They also give no reason, and are not required to give a reason for why they disabled the account.

Oh, they just sent me something saying "invalid click activity"
right...because I can control when people visiting my site click...most people know what it's for...

ah google, you run a good scam.

Saturday, November 1, 2008

*happy dance*

finished the brown gloves.
I'm taking a break for the rest of the day and then tomorrow I'll knit a hat to break up all those gloves.
I also had 3 items make it into 3 treasuries on

Tonight I have a Halloween party. I'm hoping to get some pictures to post tomorrow.

Lots of knitting to do, but I'm happy to have these commissions.