Ever see something and go "why do people buy that crap?" Yeah, me too.
5: Shake weights. Now lifting weights is too much, we need them to shake for us. Not to mention it looks like your jerking off your man. Hell, why not just jerk off your man. He'll be happy and it's a great time to ask him for anything you want.
4: BowFlex. Just because Chuck Norris endorses it doesn't mean you need to use it. Oh god...now Chuck Norris is going to come to my house and punch me with his third fist.
3: Snuggies. I don't want to use a blanket, what can I use that has arms and keeps me warm? Oh yeah, a sweater. Maybe I'm old fashioned because I love the feeling of snuggling in to a cozy knit blanket.
2: Hummers. Those damned monstrosities that some people feel the need to drive. Hey, if you're in the military and need to drive a car through a war zone they're great, but they aren't needed for driving around to show off your complete lack of genitalia. Nothing says "I have compensation issues" quiet like driving a vehicle that gets no gas mileage and can barely stay in one lane.
1: Car Testicles. Do you really need giant blue balls hanging off the back of your truck? Who thinks that's cool or sends a message other than "hey, I don't have testicles so check out the giant blue ones on my truck"?