Sunday, October 26, 2008

I was just thinking about how less then 5 months ago Ben and I had our forms in to adopt. We were set on adopting a foster child and were waiting to schedule a home study.
Then mom got Breast Cancer. Mom was 9 when her birth mother died from Breast Cancer, so it was that much more terrifying for her.
She had just decided to retire. That's when dad got sick...11 years ago...when he had retired. He died from Leukemia 9 months after he was diagnosed.

Mom was lucky, they caught it early and only needed to do a lumpectomy. I stayed with her for 2 weeks to help her out. She didn't lift, bend, pull, push or do much of anything. I know it was hard for her, but I made sure to do things before she tried or needed to ask.

She then had radiation. And she'll need to be taking pills for about 5 years. She still hates that she has to go to the Oncologist for the rest of her life, but she's happy to have a rest of her life.

So...
after all of this I came back home. Sat down with Ben...and said...I think maybe, just maybe I want to try for a baby.
Now previously we had been told that it wasn't really going to happen. I wish I could go back and kick that doctor in the nards.

While the journey has been rough, and we can only afford the once chance right now, we still have that chance.

I can't really describe what changed in my mind. But when it did it was all we could think about.
I guess the thought of losing my only living parent just set something off in my mind and body.

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