While I'm getting dressed I stop and look in the mirror before putting my bra on. My breasts are large (38I) but they're mine.
I look closer, they're pendulous (isn't that a word used to describe breasts on 80 year old women), they're uneven. My left side is a decent bit larger then my right.
They aren't perfect, but again they are mine. I wouldn't mind perky breasts. I'd love for them to be even and fit into a bra the same way. But this wouldn't be my breasts perfected, there will be nothing left of my former breasts.
I'm just not sure if I am psyching myself up or out.
I'm chatting with my friend Ali about my surgical options. I accidentally referred to them as "mipples". I joked that if people call the "foobs" then I can refer to them as "mipples" (mock nipples).
We had a good laugh about it but when the joke dies down I put my hands on my chest. It's cold and my nipples are sticking out. It used to annoy me when my nipples got hard and looked like they could cut glass. Now I don't know how to feel about them. One one hand they are mine, on the other they could potentially kill me.
Thursday is the plastic surgeon and my MRI. I have a notebook full of questions for the doctor but the one question that scares me the most isn't really for the doctor...what will I do if they find something in the MRI?
I will endure. I know that. I remind myself that. And I take a deep breath and face tomorrow.
5 comments:
I'm thinking of you and hoping for a good outcome.
Thanks so much Megan. I feel really raw and naked posting about it (then again it's about breasts). But I do hope it will help other women in my situation.
I think it would help a lot of women (only if you are comfortable with the idea) for you to share your journey. Happy ending would show others not all stories are sad. If there is something there, well, you could give others courage and strength. It isn't your job to educate others or make them feel better but, I know from my Mom's experience she was helped so much by others sharing and by sharing her story.
Barbara: I do plan to share my journey, not just for other women but for myself.
I think it would help a lot of women (only if you are comfortable with the idea) for you to share your journey. Happy ending would show others not all stories are sad. If there is something there, well, you could give others courage and strength. It isn't your job to educate others or make them feel better but, I know from my Mom's experience she was helped so much by others sharing and by sharing her story.
Post a Comment