Many of you knew I was pregnant and due in early May. Well my pregnancy did not go well.
My friend Monika over at Aias.ca set up a page for us.
Since it's hard for me to tell the story over and over you can see what is written on the page:
http://www.youcaring.com/other/help-for-baby-avery-and-family/138852
I won't be posting much while this is going on.
Showing posts with label marriage. Show all posts
Showing posts with label marriage. Show all posts
Saturday, February 15, 2014
Friday, February 3, 2012
Yes, I do charge my husband for alterations
This topic came up in discussion with some of my friends. Half of them thought this was brilliant and the other half were rather confused.
Those who know me in real life know I'm saving up for a tablet computer. They also know I complain about how Ben wears through clothing like a rabid monkey. I got a bit tired of constantly sewing up holes in his clothing, especially things he had only had a few months and abused.
After sewing up some holes in the wrist of his 2 month old jacket I said "that will be $3". Ben laughed but agreed to pay. It works for us. I jsut remind him of a few things:
1: I really really really want that tablet.
2: It would be more to go to the tailor or to replace the clothing
3: It will teach him to take better care of his clothing if he doesn't want to pay me for constant repairs.
He's on board with it. I also decided that I'll charge him $5 for every time I shave his head (which isn't that often). It's still cheaper than a barber, I am providing a service and he learns to appreciate all the roles I fill around the house.
Those who know me in real life know I'm saving up for a tablet computer. They also know I complain about how Ben wears through clothing like a rabid monkey. I got a bit tired of constantly sewing up holes in his clothing, especially things he had only had a few months and abused.
After sewing up some holes in the wrist of his 2 month old jacket I said "that will be $3". Ben laughed but agreed to pay. It works for us. I jsut remind him of a few things:
1: I really really really want that tablet.
2: It would be more to go to the tailor or to replace the clothing
3: It will teach him to take better care of his clothing if he doesn't want to pay me for constant repairs.
He's on board with it. I also decided that I'll charge him $5 for every time I shave his head (which isn't that often). It's still cheaper than a barber, I am providing a service and he learns to appreciate all the roles I fill around the house.
Wednesday, October 19, 2011
Cotton!
Recently Ben was asked by his co-workers if he had done any "stupid Northern tricks". Ben remarked that he got all excited when he saw the cotton fields.
Me, I hadn't done anything at that point that could have been considered a Northern thing. Until this weekend (and I still say it was more of a crafting thing that a Northern thing). We drove by fields upon fields of cotton and we noticed that there was a lot of cotton on the side of the road. It had blown off the plants and was just sitting there. I wondered what completely natural cotton felt like so Ben slowed the car down and I leaned out and grabbed a piece.
It was really soft and cotton dust went in to the air when I pulled it apart. I removed a couple seeds (and realized why they had slaves do it...ouch!). We later found out that they don't care if you pick it up off the side of the road as long as you don't pick it off the plant itself.
Me, I hadn't done anything at that point that could have been considered a Northern thing. Until this weekend (and I still say it was more of a crafting thing that a Northern thing). We drove by fields upon fields of cotton and we noticed that there was a lot of cotton on the side of the road. It had blown off the plants and was just sitting there. I wondered what completely natural cotton felt like so Ben slowed the car down and I leaned out and grabbed a piece.
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| The touch, the feel of cotton. |
It was really soft and cotton dust went in to the air when I pulled it apart. I removed a couple seeds (and realized why they had slaves do it...ouch!). We later found out that they don't care if you pick it up off the side of the road as long as you don't pick it off the plant itself.
If I had space to spin (and learned to do so) I'd go with a bag and pick it up and spin it in to yarn. It would be amazing to dye. Maybe in the future when we own our home again I'll have more space.
Monday, June 20, 2011
Here's to 7 years!
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| Our family |
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| Our witnesses |
Yup, only 6 people besides. 9 if you count me, Ben and the Justice of the Peace.
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| The wig looked even worse in person |
We had lunch at Outback Steakhouse afterwards. Ben smooshed the ice cream sundae into my face. But I got him back.
I did have a lovely bouquet, put together for me by Ali over at The Craning Gap. Who also took all the photos on our wedding day.
To the man I love, here's to the next 7 years together.
Thursday, May 19, 2011
Marriage and Autism
"Hun, how do you think your autism affects our marriage?"
"It doesn't, we have issues like any other married couple."
"You don't think that most of our issues stem from the autism?"
"No"
"What about your inability to ask for help, or your lack of communication? Or even the tone you use without realizing it?"
"Ok, I get it, I didn't think we were that different."
And the truth is we aren't that different. I spent the first few years of our marriage not knowing about Ben's Asperger's. It came out just before Garrett was born when we were at counseling. Yes, we did marriage counseling and it was the best damned thing we did. We aren't ashamed of it and it has really helped us.
Before Ben told me I didn't really know what autism was. (It also wasn't a diagnosis when he was a child so he wasn't diagnosed until his 20s) Like many people I thought autism meant I was stupid and unable to interact with society on any level. (It also didn't help that as a child my brother used to chase me around the house calling me autistic just to upset me.)
A lot of changes have been mine. I had to learn how to communicate with Ben differently than I communicate with others. I made to make sure to tell him that it's ok if he needs time to himself or help and give him lots of opportunities to ask for help and basically reminding him that he can ask for help. With Asperger's it just doesn't occur to him to ask for help so I've learned to plant the suggestion.
Ben does have a problem with tone. Using in or distinguishing it in others. He'll often respond to people in the tone he perceived they were using. This has caused a few problems, especially online. He also gets defensive very easily but I find that reminding him that I was just asking him a question and he was not under and sort of attack seems to help.
It really isn't the different. Like any other marriage it will only really work if both parties are willing to put the effort in to it. Since Ben and I both want to be together we both work on this.
I just remind myself that Ben needs a little more patience because it's harder for him to completely change the way he thinks.
Don't forget to enter our magazine giveaway. A winner will be chosen this Friday 5/20 at noon.
"It doesn't, we have issues like any other married couple."
"You don't think that most of our issues stem from the autism?"
"No"
"What about your inability to ask for help, or your lack of communication? Or even the tone you use without realizing it?"
"Ok, I get it, I didn't think we were that different."
And the truth is we aren't that different. I spent the first few years of our marriage not knowing about Ben's Asperger's. It came out just before Garrett was born when we were at counseling. Yes, we did marriage counseling and it was the best damned thing we did. We aren't ashamed of it and it has really helped us.
Before Ben told me I didn't really know what autism was. (It also wasn't a diagnosis when he was a child so he wasn't diagnosed until his 20s) Like many people I thought autism meant I was stupid and unable to interact with society on any level. (It also didn't help that as a child my brother used to chase me around the house calling me autistic just to upset me.)
A lot of changes have been mine. I had to learn how to communicate with Ben differently than I communicate with others. I made to make sure to tell him that it's ok if he needs time to himself or help and give him lots of opportunities to ask for help and basically reminding him that he can ask for help. With Asperger's it just doesn't occur to him to ask for help so I've learned to plant the suggestion.
Ben does have a problem with tone. Using in or distinguishing it in others. He'll often respond to people in the tone he perceived they were using. This has caused a few problems, especially online. He also gets defensive very easily but I find that reminding him that I was just asking him a question and he was not under and sort of attack seems to help.
It really isn't the different. Like any other marriage it will only really work if both parties are willing to put the effort in to it. Since Ben and I both want to be together we both work on this.
I just remind myself that Ben needs a little more patience because it's harder for him to completely change the way he thinks.
Don't forget to enter our magazine giveaway. A winner will be chosen this Friday 5/20 at noon.
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