10 weeks and a surprising surge in energy.

My last fill was a month ago. I'm pretty happy with the size they currently are and don't plan to have any more fills.
For the past couple of weeks I've been doing yoga. Besides having really helped my flexibility I find in general I have more energy.
I spent so many years being in pain. My sciatica was pretty awful and exercising was difficult with my large chest and back pain. Since the surgery I haven't had lower back pain.
It really is amazing how not being in pain can change everything. I'm more active with more energy and I just generally feel better.
That being said I do miss sleeping in my own bed. I'd love to get a solid night if sleep but that is probably still a while off.
Pictures and more after the jump.

8 weeks post op and feeling a little alien

This past Friday was 8 weeks from my surgery. I've been facing one of my bigger issues which I think is causing some of my post surgical depression. My body feels alien to me. Expanders aren't soft, in fact it feels like having rocks in my chest. While I've gained a large range of motion (thank you yoga) I still can't shave my own armpits (thank you Ben for being so patient and doing that for me). I can't cross my arms...a position that used to be comfortable to me. Hugging has also become an art form of not slamming the other person in the body with my rocks.
It's frustrating and I remind myself in a very Machiavellian way that it is the end result that is the most important. And while having awesome boobs is a great end result, I mean the one where I have a much lower risk of breast cancer.

My last fill was 2 weeks ago and that put me at 1200ccs.  I decided to stop and give myself a month to let everything settle. I surprised myself by starting to think that I may be ok with a smaller breast size than I originally thought.

More info and pictures after the jump.

6 weeks and counting

It's been 6 weeks since my surgery. I've gone from 700ccs to 1200ccs in this time period.
There have been lots of emotional ups and downs. I am seeing who is really here for me. I'm very lucky to have so many people who have been an amazing support to me.

This weekend I made a big decision.
Story and pictures after the jump.

A few complications

I'm 5 weeks post op today. Last week my fill I ended up with a pinched nerve.
This week proved to be a little bit more complicated than that.
As you can see in my pictures I have an indentation on the side of my left breast. Apparently the suction from the drain caused an adhesion to form.
Since my scars healed well and I'm going through fills with no infection it would be silly to open me up to cut the adhesion. The occasion well either resolve itself because I massage it multiple times daily. Or when I have my exchange surgery later this year they will cut it.
However this causes a bigger problem for me. I am now filled to 1100 cc's. The expander now pushes on the adhesion on one side and on the nerve on the other. This causes me horrible pain every time I have a felt. Sadly it gets more painful with each fill because there's more pressure.
I have 4 more fills to go. I am hoping the adhesion resolves itself. I do understand that that would mean a great deal of pain as my flesh tears inside.
While adhesions are common after surgery my particular situation is not. I don't want this to freak anyone out. Normally fills would not be nearly this painful.While it would be an understatement to say this sucks I still don't regret my decision to have this surgery.
I've always had a very high pain tolerance. So Ben was pretty freaked out to hear me whimpering while I took a shower this afternoon. It isn't easy to be this uncomfortable and have it happen again each week. But I'm hanging in there. Four more fills to go and three months to let everything settle.
It still beats having cancer. I'm also lucky to have a great plastic surgeon who will actually explain to me why it would be a bad idea to have a surgery to remove the adhesion. Instead of just dismissing my worries.
This at least explains why my fills have been so much more debilitating for me than they should be. I will continue to work to soften the adhesion and do what I can to help my body heal. 

1 Month Later

Here I am. 1 month after my Prophylactic Bilateral Mastectomy. I admit that some days it still feels so surreal.  Healing is a hell of a journey but I have no regrets about my choice.

While I always knew I wanted to document my journey I never thought it would include pictures. Before my mastectomy I sat down with my mom and showed her pictures at different stages. She told me how thankful she was that she saw the different stages. Had she not see the after surgery images she would have walked out of my hospital room and had a melt down.

So I felt that sharing my pictures might help others going through their own journey.

My pictures and more information after the jump.

Just an update that I got through surgery alright and I'm currently recovering.
I will be posting more once it is easier for me to use a laptop.

2 weeks to go

To say I'm nervous is an understatement. I've been a little OCD about everything.
I've decided that next year I want to go Steampunk.
I've also been making things:

A cape to wear after my surgery so it's easy to get on and off

 

Tablet cases, cause I can never have enough

Jewelry, because who doesn't need another hobby:

And bags, always bags: